Post Op

For the first time since my surgery I am able to type like a normal person, with two hands. I got a wireless keyboard for Christmas and can put it on my lap and not have to move my shoulder too much. Which is great because there is no moving of the shoulder. It hurts. It hurts all of the time. I'm not taking any painkillers or anti-inflammatory because I had our first IUI last week! Waiting and waiting to take a test to see if the first time took. Lots going on right now. But, at the moment, i'm thrilled that I found a way to type!

Surgery

Friday was shoulder surgery day. I was nervous but put at ease knowing Christian would be by my side for the entire process. She has been beyond amazing. Not since my mom has someone cared and done so much for me. It is overwhelming sometimes. She is more than I could ever have asked for. She threw a great Christmas party last night. Devotees the house, entertained, and still found time to make sure I was ok.

Today was really rough. Lots of pain and nausea. After a few calls to the doc I think we've gotten it under control. Well, she has. Sandra was amazing and made me chicken and dumplings. It has been the only thing today thy I could keep down.

Really, I am amazed at how loved I am by those around me.

Workin' on TBNL

Christian just called me. It wasn't a normal call about bills or Jake or something funky that's happened at work. This time it was to tell me that she had ordered our baby daddy. Holy crap! The doctor's appointments, the picking of the baby daddy, talking about TBNL over and over, each and every day, it was all exciting and nerve wracking, but actually knowing that we now have little swimmers is different. Great different. It's happening.

I think it started the minute Jill was born. Carrying her around, holding her when I wasn't that much bigger than she was. Wanting to babysit before I knew what babysitting really was. I would read "The Babysitter's Club" books and it seemed like such a glamorous life. I carried "Ugly Baby," as grandpa called him, around everywhere. Mom bought me real diapers and baby clothes that I could dress my babies up in. It's been inside of me for so long. Wanting a family of my own. Wanting to have babies with the one person that makes me the happiest. The realization that the process is starting is extraordinary.

I can't wait and at the same time I'm trying to keep my hopes a little bit realistic. It may not take the first time, or the second. It may take lots and lots of time. But right now i'm happy. I'm happy that baby daddy was ordered. And not just enough for one baby, but hopefully enough for two. Only time will tell what is in store for us.

There are a million and two thoughts flying through my head but I just realized that the dogs are quiet and with a Christmas tree and cookies on the counter, this can't be a good thing.

A parting thought is that i'm kind of glad shoulder surgery is next week so that I will have something, PAIN, to focus on for a little bit. I'm doing a bit of obsessing.