Tell All...Scandalous

I've been thinking of writing a tell all book. Not that my life is that exciting anymore, but for almost a decade, there is A LOT of information.  I may need to purge it.

Yes, i'm posting here so you can spread it allllll around.  Get the word out, please.

Oh, and the kids WILL be in it.  Mostly because that's the reason I stayed.  I stayed for them, was lied to for them, dealt with tons of crap for them and now, can't see them or even talk to them. 

So...a book. It's decided. 

New Blog - Email Me

I'm moving my blog.

Email me if you want the new address.

There's a mole amongst us

I am having to make my blog private because there are people in this world that are, for some reason, out to get me.

If you'd like to be added to be able to read my blog, please let me know.

For the people/person, I know who you are, that is "ratting" my personal blog out, shame on you.

Thoughts

Deleted. So glad my blog can be regulated by others. So much for the 1st amendment.

This morning

Dropping Jake of at school I say "I'll see you after school." He responded with "if I make it." I didn't really understand what on earth he was talking about and after questioning him he said "well it is school." Fortunately I know how he feels. I wasn't a fan of school either. And the poor thing has at least 11 more years of school.

Family Game Night

Off to our fabulous friend's house for family game night. I am so happy that I have been accepted into this family. It's not a biological family, but they're the most wonderful people and I'm excited about game night. I'm a game girl and there's nothing better.

Lil' Gribblette

It's definitely been a long few months. We both thought this whole gettin' pregnant thing would be much easier. Of course, getting to try once a month is already putting us with less odds. Then, put in the thousands of dollars it's costing and we're ready for it to take.

The first three IUIs did not take. Which was fine. The Dr. told us it typically takes 3-4 times. So, this morning I got my prescription for Clomid. I shall be fertilizing my uterus and eggs. The prescription also ups our chances for multiples. I wasn't too worried about multiples before. I had heard that my great grandmother was a twin, but she'd be the only twins I know of in my family. That percentage seemed ok. And when people joked about us having a litter of children I was able to laugh it off and think to myself that it probably wouldn't happen. NOW, after the fertilizer, it's not so funny. All I have to say is that everyone that made a little joke will be on the top of the list for babysitting.

We're excited. We, I, want to walk through Target and not just look at baby clothes but buy something that TBNL/Shortstack needs (or must have). And we're ready to spend the thousands a month on the actual baby instead of trying to get the baby.

It's a strange process. I would do all of this over in a heartbeat which is good because more than likely we will. Unless, of course, the litter threats come through.

Mmmmm

Christian is in Philadelphia until Wed. It's weird not having her around or easily accessible to talk to. And, although I miss her, I know that this trip is good for her. She is learning how the flags are made that she sells. The images of her sitting on our front porch sewing flags has come to mind. It ain't happenin' people.

So I went to dinner with some friends that decided after the delicious buffalo wings we needed gigantic doughnuts. So we went to Gourdoughs (This is just the menu, but it's worth a read). Oh, my, it was delicious. I have driven by the trailer a million times. I just had never stopped. My waistline is going to be angry with me, but the gym will be glad to know that they have me as a client for years longer.

I wish there was more to say. But right now, Lola is barking incessantly out in the back yard and I need to tend to her.

Snow Day

It's been cold here. I thought this was Texas. I thought it was filled with 100 degree days and cowboys. This snow is breaking the stereotype.

There was much anticipation about the snow. Will there be school or not? We were woken up at 5:55a by a phone call from the superintendent of the austin school district. AWESOME. It woke us up and the boy. It was at that very moment that he wanted to go play in the snow. It wasn't even light outside!!!

We talked him into waiting until 7, or when the sun came up. We bundled up as best we could and ventured out into the inch of snow.

The dogs were uncertain at first then started tearing about in the back yard. The image goes as follows. Lola races, ears back, as fast as she can. She's streamline. There is an aerodynamic approach to her running. Behind her, about 3-5 feet, is her "little" sister. Maggie's racing approach is more lumbering. There is NOTHING aerodynamic to her. Somehow she manages to keep up. I think it's because her legs are twice as long as Lola's. She is a tank.

Lola LOVES to dig in sand piles and, as we found out, snow piles. Jake would pile and Lola would destroy. Fortunately he found this funny or else we would've had a rather delightful day.

Maggie can't quite jump into the trampoline enclosure, so it was Lola and the boy and Maggie jumping and barking at them.

The fun lasted for about 15 minutes before we got cold. It was a very enjoyable 15 minutes though.

I love my family.

Collision Course

There was once a bad world. I lived there for too long. Full of lies and heartache and people that never could understand.

The new world is the best world ever. I am understood.

These two worlds shouldn't ever combine. Something like a science project. When you made a volcano with baking soda and vinegar. I'm sitting peacefully in my new world, or the baking soda as i'd like to think. Soon, i'm worried vinegar is going to be poured in and the worlds will collide. It's almost inevitable.

Hopefully the volcano is tame.

What?!

Jake gets into the car this afternoon when I pick him up from school and sitting at a light he sees "Save Barton Hills Elementary" on the back of a minivan. He scoffs and says "what?!" I explain that the city wants to close nine schools and that Barton Hills and Zilker are supporting each other and on the same side. He scoffs again and when I ask him what the problem is he says, "They don't have ANY homework at Barton Hills. I was working math problems and Barton Hills kids only had to read a few pages from a tiny book." Hope he doesn't tell all the other kids at Zilker about the homework scandal.

Post Op

For the first time since my surgery I am able to type like a normal person, with two hands. I got a wireless keyboard for Christmas and can put it on my lap and not have to move my shoulder too much. Which is great because there is no moving of the shoulder. It hurts. It hurts all of the time. I'm not taking any painkillers or anti-inflammatory because I had our first IUI last week! Waiting and waiting to take a test to see if the first time took. Lots going on right now. But, at the moment, i'm thrilled that I found a way to type!

Surgery

Friday was shoulder surgery day. I was nervous but put at ease knowing Christian would be by my side for the entire process. She has been beyond amazing. Not since my mom has someone cared and done so much for me. It is overwhelming sometimes. She is more than I could ever have asked for. She threw a great Christmas party last night. Devotees the house, entertained, and still found time to make sure I was ok.

Today was really rough. Lots of pain and nausea. After a few calls to the doc I think we've gotten it under control. Well, she has. Sandra was amazing and made me chicken and dumplings. It has been the only thing today thy I could keep down.

Really, I am amazed at how loved I am by those around me.

Workin' on TBNL

Christian just called me. It wasn't a normal call about bills or Jake or something funky that's happened at work. This time it was to tell me that she had ordered our baby daddy. Holy crap! The doctor's appointments, the picking of the baby daddy, talking about TBNL over and over, each and every day, it was all exciting and nerve wracking, but actually knowing that we now have little swimmers is different. Great different. It's happening.

I think it started the minute Jill was born. Carrying her around, holding her when I wasn't that much bigger than she was. Wanting to babysit before I knew what babysitting really was. I would read "The Babysitter's Club" books and it seemed like such a glamorous life. I carried "Ugly Baby," as grandpa called him, around everywhere. Mom bought me real diapers and baby clothes that I could dress my babies up in. It's been inside of me for so long. Wanting a family of my own. Wanting to have babies with the one person that makes me the happiest. The realization that the process is starting is extraordinary.

I can't wait and at the same time I'm trying to keep my hopes a little bit realistic. It may not take the first time, or the second. It may take lots and lots of time. But right now i'm happy. I'm happy that baby daddy was ordered. And not just enough for one baby, but hopefully enough for two. Only time will tell what is in store for us.

There are a million and two thoughts flying through my head but I just realized that the dogs are quiet and with a Christmas tree and cookies on the counter, this can't be a good thing.

A parting thought is that i'm kind of glad shoulder surgery is next week so that I will have something, PAIN, to focus on for a little bit. I'm doing a bit of obsessing.

Dogs and TV

I've realized I can't have the "Dog Whisperer" on while i'm working at my computer if the dogs are inside. The barking freaks them out and gets them into a tizzy. Today while eating my sandwich for lunch I turned on the tv. "Marley and Me" had just started and although I don't want to watch the entire thing I kept it on. One scene the puppy is running down the beach. The dogs had been watching it since they heard the whimpering. Maggie watched the puppy run across the screen and then when the puppy left the screen she went around the corner to look for him. Needless to say, she was confused.

Lately

I'm sitting here while three people clean the house around me. Someone cleaning the bathroom counters 20 feet away, someone vacuuming in the living room and I can hear the stove being taken apart getting all of the splatters from our yummy chicken tacos last night. I figured now was as good of time as any to update my blog. I have a rough life, I know.

Jill is coming to visit on Thursday for the Austin City Limits Music Festival. I am very excited. I haven't seen her since this summer when we were home for Jenn's wedding and then she was busy with Bridesmaid things. So it will be nice to have some time with her.

Last weekend I went to Christian's nephew's flag football game. Fifteen feet away from me was Max. It was surreal. I've never lost someone super close to me, but when the kids were taken from me it felt like a death. I never saw them or heard from them. I only had pictures that were frozen in time. Seeing Max was like seeing someone come back to life. He was taller and his hair was longer but he was the same kid. It was strange. I kept my mouth shut. I didn't know what to do. He looked at me, but I don't think he really saw me. It was nice to have C to talk it all out with. She gets it.

Other than that, not too much happening. I'm loving my life. It's been a long time since i've had that feeling. And Wednesday marks a year of greatness. Not being a fan of surprises i'm a little anxious about what is planned, but as long as i'm with Christian, i'll be happy.

Yup, i'm sappy. That's what happens.

Boundaries...

Why don't people have them? It's amazing to me how people don't think about what they are doing before they do it.

I typically would post this on facebook, but facebook has become a breeding ground for cliques, bullying, opinions & overall ridiculousness. So I will post to the emptiness that is the internet.

People need some boundaries. Maybe we should be teaching our children about boundaries in school instead of arguing about evolution and God. I think it would get them further in life.

Baby TBNL

My brain moves a hundred million miles a second. Lately, it's been circling around one thought and one thought only. Baby TNBL. I feel myself wanting to wait and not knowing why. I am ready. I don't know if i've ever been more ready for anything. Christian is ready. We were in the car yesterday and with school starting I wondered if this would be the last time we went school shopping without Baby TBNL.

Really?

Jake just came to the command center and said, "Krob, can we please stop by a donut place, i'm DYING for a donut."

Is he kidding! Why must he constantly challenge my weakness for donuts! This child never asks for a donut.

The Challenge

Life has been lived at an incredibly happy rate lately. Things could not be going much better. With happiness and a complete comfort of one's life comes fried food and lots of it. This is my theory at least. So, in an effort to create a less happy life (happiness = fried goodness), we have cut out all bad food and started a challenge with Reggie and Spanky (Amanda). It is an 8 week weight loss challenge.

Christian and I have a trainer that we meet with 3 times a week. This is week one and I can barely feel my legs and when I look into the foyer, where Maggie and Lola like to gut their toys, my legs ache from the thought of bending over to pick the piles of stuffing off of the floor. The worst part is that this is only after TWO sessions. Her name is Jenny and I think under her polite, nice exterior lies a woman who greatly enjoys watching others suffer. Not only am I up at 7a, we have an hour of non-stop activity. Lift, jump, squat, lung, pass, and repeat. The end result will be fantastic. Having the ability to just go do a long bike ride or triathlon would be nice.

We are fighting through the pain and exhaustion because we know what the end holds in store.